The thing about 3D

It's been around for years. Now they're convinced it's the big thing?

I saw a pretty good kung fu movie in 3D. I remember it well. I walked home at two a.m. and saw a man walking down the street carrying a bag of groceries and a rifle. I went to a payphone. We didn't have cell phones or 9-1-1 in those days. I dialed the operator.

"Get me the police!" I said.

"Oh. Okay," the operator said.

I think there was something Sergei Eisenstein said about 3D movies being the next big thing, but I didn't read it, so I didn't know if he actually meant stereo movies---the USSR did make some---or if he meant something like composition in depth or something like that.

But here's the thing:

Binocular vision is only used to judge distances up to about 10 feet. Anything more than ten feet away, you use other visual cues to judge distance. So 3D should only work for stuff in close-up anyway---or at least it only makes for greater realism in stuff closer than ten feet. Further away, it's just a distraction and an annoyance.

Conan O'Brien

I think he should duke it out! Stay! Don't leave! Fight! He doesn't want to wreck The Tonight Show by moving it to a later time slot. I say, wreck it! Wreck it for everybody else!

Simon Cowell

Is that how you spell his name? I think, for his last show, they should shut off the metal detectors, give the body guards the day off, and let him say whatever he wants to the contestants.