Basement, final stop: D-listers, Has-beens and Never-weres, please disembark.
Anne HecheWe can't tell if this is a dress or a jumpsuit. Either way, it gets a thumbs up just because this is the cleanest and most polished we've seen her look in a long time. She usually looks like she's been up for 72 hours in the same dress. However, if this IS a jumpsuit, then we might have to declare undying love because it's so very Ann-Margret in Tommy. If this IS a bell-bottomed jumpsuit, then we hope there were egg chairs at the party. If it's not, then good job, Celestia. Keep up the good work.
Ashley Fink She looks kind of cute and we appreciate some of the choices here, but it's a little schizo. The dress flatters her and looks good on her. We hope she doesn't think she has to wear black, because a rich color would play well off her pale skin. The thing is, this just isn't a dress that pairs well with ballet flats, especially with that gigantic necklace. There are looks you can put together for an event like this that will go quite well with flats, but this isn't one of them.
Bojana BarovicPretty and dramatic.
Cobie SmuldersBoring.
Garcelle Beauvais A standard dress, ramped up through the deployment of attitude and fierce hair. We can almost forgive the matching gold bag and shoes.
Jenna Ushkowitz This is the best she's ever looked on the red carpet. It's a skosh tight on her, though. Love the hair and makeup.
Jessica Lowndes Hate all these dresses with high waists and super short skirts. We suspect everyone thinks it makes the wearer look taller, but we just think it makes them look a little freakish.
Kelly Osbourne in Tony Ward Spring 2011 Couture A very pretty dress; a flawless look.
Lance Bass There's no reason he should be wearing a tux that large. Unless there's been dramatic developments in the waistline of America's Favorite Formerly Famous Gay Person of which we are unaware, he's not fat. He can work a more fitted look. This ages him.
Loretta Devine Oh honeybear, no. This has Lane Bryant written all over it. There are so many better ways to go for a lady of size, sweetie. Get yourself a chubby gay. He'll steer you right.
Maria Menounos The Morticia gowns are getting old.
Miranda Cosgrove in Z Spoke by Zac Posen Standard.
Nicole Richie in Halston Fall 2011This is pretty fierce. Nu Hollywood glam.
Niecy Nash The dress wouldn't bother us if it wasn't in that "eighties bathroom" peach, but the real story here is the makeup. She looks like she sneezed into a loaded powder puff. And then someone slapped her real hard on both cheeks.
Paz Vega in Giambattista Valli Resort 2011 What a weird dress. The top has nothing to do with the bottom. She looks like she's standing in a frilly barrel.
Ryan Kwanten More water here, please.
Serena Williams A relatively low-key, but kinda fabulous dress.
Erin Brady and Steven Tyler Considering how godawful Mick Jagger looked that night, we can't really fault Steven here. We kind of like her look. It's got the gaudy, rock and roll quality you want to have if you're attending Elton John's Oscar party as Steven Tyler's date.
Tori Spelling What the shit is this? Did Lauren Bacall send her a loaner for the night? Or did she snag this from the estate sale of Gloria Stuart?
Vanessa Hudgens in Marchesa The theme of this photograph is "generic."
[Photo Credit: wireimage, elle.com, style.com]
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Labels: Fashion, Oscars, Red Carpet
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